4ever Seiya
by omgwtfbbqlulz
Summary: Ignore the 'barbie girl's in the story. PARODY AND AU. The Starlights return to Earth, and are faced with shocking truths...a short, fun fic. Review, but flames will be ignored. ENJOY! S/U. Y/L


The Starlights were anxious to get back to Earth. Mostly because of the fact that the, truly, missed their favorite food, fried chicken. Not many people thought that Senshi could eat fried food, y'know, cuz of the weight and stuff. Alas, it is true. All senshi can, and DO, eat fried food.

However, they all had someone different on their mind. Seiya was, of course, thinking of Usagi. If Mamoru did something to her, he would beat his ass all over this galaxy and back to the cauldron. Which reminded him, what did happen to Galaxia? Are we following the manga, or anime? Whatever. It was July 29, and in one day it would be his birthday!!! YAY!!!!!!!

Taiki was thinking of Makoto. She was strong, and elegant, and a great cook. How could anyone resist her charm?

And we all know who Yaten had been 'secretly' thinking of these past 3 months. Yeah, that's right. Luna. You know it, I know it, the whole fricken galaxy knows it.

The reconstruction of Kinmoku-sei had taken a considerably short amount of time. Mostly because there was nothing left to reconstruct. Galaxia had used Sailor Water, who, surprisingly, controlled fire, to burn their planet to a crisp. The little piece of rock just couldn't stand it, so now all of the residents of the former planet were living on a little place known as Pluto. They never ran out of food, because Cosmo from Fairly oddparents keeps his corn there.

Flashback

"Fighter!" Kakyuu called, while running down the hallway after Seiya. Everyone who was in the hall bowed down to the princess, and she continued to call out their lovers to them, even if they didn't want her to. "I know about Serenity. And I have something to tell you!" Seiya automatically stayed put.

"What do you know?"

"You love her, idiot. I have powers"

"I don't care about your powers, betch."

"O NO U DIDN'T JUST INSULT HER HIGHNESS?!!?!!"

Kakyuu turned to look at the intruder in their conversation. "Enough, Jezebella, you have been excused for now. BTW, his name is Craig"

Jezebella had a weird look on her face. "Craig? He is ugly! I so do not love him!"

"You SO do!"

Yaten and Taiki then joined the conversation. "Anyway," the princess said, "I have decided to let you all return to earth. But you have to do something for me!"

What was it? Was it robbery? Murder? Suicide?

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF----

BARBIE GIRL!

Last time on BARBIE GIRL!:

Yaten and Taiki then joined the conversation. "Anyway," the princess said, "I have decided to let you all return to earth. But you have to do something for me!"

What was it? Was it robbery? Murder? Suicide?

And now, the shocking continuation…

"What is it, hime?" asked Taiki.

"You have to…COME VISIT ME OFTEN!"

The Starlights all let out a sigh of relief. Visiting Kakyuu, that can't be that bad…right?

end flashback

They were now approaching Earth fast. They could all taste the chicken in their mouths, filling their senses with warm goodness…

But they were not greeted with Chicken. They were greeted with the coldness of Crystal Tokyo. It had been a bad time to visit, apparently…Tokyo was freezing over, and Mamoru was helping Usagi create a glorious world of glory. Seiya felt like he was going to collapse-they must be married, then…

Yaten couldn't be happier. Now that her owner was married and fulfilling her destiny, Luna must be questioning her own future….

"Looks like you got beat, pretty boy!"

"Oh, shut up!" Seiya replied. "let's go see if our apartment is still available."

And it was. And it was filled with all of their furniture and stuff, still. Taiki thought that the landlady would have sold it all for big bucks on eBay, but I guess he was wrong. HA1! IN YOUR FACE, TAIKI!

"Well, lets invite everyone over for a party!" suggested Yaten. Taiki hit him over the head. "Oi, What was that for?"

"For being an idiot!"

"OK!"

"Nah, that was a good idea. But maybe tomorrow, I mean…they looked kinda busy, saving the world and stuff." Seiya said.

"Probably should have done something….." Taiki said.

The rest of the night was uneventful. Yaten called up their manager, and set a date for a concert after the whole 'Second Ice Age' shock wore down.

The next day, at school, everyone joined for English class. Usagi still wondered why Ms. Haruna felt it necessary to continue being her teacher all these years. Was it a coincidence? Or did she just want to win the Sports Festival? I mean, this class DID have Makoto, Minako, and some other feisty sports players…

After lunch, Usagi collapsed at her desk. Pluto told her it would be a quick thing to create Crystal Tokyo, but, hell, it took a whole lot out of her. It might have been better if Mamoru had helped her, instead of trying to look cool in his stupid prettyboy armor. Oh, how she wished she could tell him that she loved someone else. 'I'm SICK of Destiny…but what about Chibiusa?' she thought. Even though they hadn't even slept together, Usagi was pregnant with a little brat she knew would have pink hair and be pure EVIL. WHY, CRUEL WORLD? WHY?

And the worst thing? Mamoru was cheating on her. With a guy. It was like trapped in the closet, all over again. But she didn't have the option of pulling a gun out at everyone. He had 'needs,' apparently.

"I love you, but I love him too….I just don't know!" that is what Mamoru had said when Usagi had walked in on his making out with Motoki. Oh, would the girls be surprised. What about Reika? Oh well, she was probably having an affair with a horse, or something. Whatever.

Usagi was so lost in thought that she didn't even realize it was drama. Or that Seiya and the others were back. Wow, she was really out of it. Damn Chibiusa.

"OK, well, Seiya and…Makoto? Will you two be the leads for this page?"

"Ms Haruna, well, see, um…I kinda got married yesterday. And, well, my husband…he doesn't like intimate scenes with other guys…"

"Alright then. Usagi?"

Seiya and Usagi got up and started to perform.

"But I love you!" Usagi said, with mock lust.

"No way girlfriend! I just got out of a bad relationship, you know? I want some lovin, not some grabassin!"

…Everyone sweatdropped.

"Seiya, your on the wrong page…of the wrong book. That is a line from "A playa's guide to grabassin." Ami said.

That night, all the senshi gathered at The Three Lights apartment. Nobody knew what to do, so they just hung out and played go fish all night. Usagi finally confessed why they didn't hang out at her house anymore; nobody was there. They were all dead. In a car crash. It sucked, we all know…no more lemon pie.

Haruka was having weird mood swings. One minute she would be helping Seiya with chips or something, and the next she would be punching him to death. Seiya just concluded that she was on her period, or something. Makoto decided to leave early, because her husband was waiting for her, and Seiya decided to walk her home. Usagi decided to tag along, because Mamoru's house was on the way.

After dropping Usagi off, they continued to Makoto's apartment. When they got there, the green senshi was pulled into the house, and beat up really, really bad. Like, so bad, that she was bleeding and stuff. So Seiya decided to save the day by kicking the guy in the very uncomfortable place to be kicked in. However, he sadly realized that this guy was a GIRL.

"I didn't know you went that way?!?!?!!" Seiya asked, confused.

"Neither did I!!!" Makoto answered.

Anyway, they decided it was best for Makoto if she stayed with the newlyweds Mamoru and Usagi. So, while walking back to that apartment, Seiya sensed something evil going down. They investigated, and found Motoki trying to kill Usagi. Makoto intervened, and broke Motoki's nose. They knew, however, that he would be back. Seiya decided it would be cool to play bodyguard for the two girls. Mayhem ensued, as they played waterfight, fly to the sky(WTF don't ask me), murder the kitty, and so many more fun games.

To stop them from killing her, Luna decided to tell them about their REAL past.

Flashback to 1000 years ago

I am Seiya, Prince of Kinmoku!!

I am Princess Serenity.

You are a pretty pretty Princess(that was a fun game. They also played that)

Why TY, lets make out!

end flashback

"So, as you can see, Seiya is Usagi's true Prince, and not that gaywad Mamoru." Luna concluded.

"Wow, that is, wow…" Seiya stuttered. "Um…I think I should be going back now…."

So he went back to his apartment. And when he got there, he realized that Taiki and Yaten had become cold blooded rapists…

TO BE CONTINUED!???

JK!!! THEY WERE TOTALLY NOT RAPISTS! HAHAHAHA I HAD YOU GOOD. However, it was true that they were dead. Dead as dead. Everyone was sad, sure, but since Seiya was alive and well, life went on.

Mamoru wanted a divorce, and so did Usagi, so they decided to go and get a divorce. However, who got Chibiusa?!?!?!

"I never slept with you, GAWD!"

This sounds like a job for MAURY!

"Mamoru…you are NOT the father!"

And so Usagi got Chibiusa…and, well, 'lost' her one day in the park. Usagi and Seiya were now going out, or something, whatever, and decided to go on a drive one night. However, Usagi had horrible motor skills, and crashed into a tree. For warmth, they had to huddle together…I don't want to say anymore. It's just too painful…

Even though nobody missed Taiki and yaten, people started to get a little confused when Rei went missing…then Minako, then Makoto…finally, Michiru was found dead in the park's water fountain pipes (IDK how she GOT there, GAWD). Haruka was sad, yes, and killed everyone who was willing to die with a dagger and a shotgun. Life, once again, went on normally.

One day, Rei was seen walking in the park, alive and well. When Ami walked up to her, Rei attacked and killed her. Or so the legend goes. The truth is that neither of them were seen again.

A crazy battle began, and Uranus was getting really good at killing people, but Pluto was lured to the dark side with promises of cookies. Then, she blasted Uranus with her Dead Scream. Before dying, Seiya had to promise to protect Usagi. Like he wouldn't…

Eventually everyone was killed off one by one, until only Seiya, Usagi, and Hotaru were left standing. They found out that Galaxia was behind this, and she was trying to collect everyone's star seeds once again. A thought dawned on Hotaru and Usagi…don't they have those powers that save everyone and bring people back to life and stuff?

"We are almost done for, we need to use it!" screamed Sailor Moon.

"No princess, you can not use the Ginzushou! You will die!"

"Well, you will die if you use your glaive!"

"What are your thoughts on this, Fighter?"

"Oh uh, when you make us all reborn, can you maybe erase my memory?"

"Why?"

"So I don't get dragged into something like this again…"

"BUT I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME?!?!?!?!"

"…..I just wanted some grabassin…"

THE END

EPOLOUGE:

everyone was reborn once again so seiya decided to change his life completely

YAY finally done. OK, that last chapter sucked, but you can't blame me for trying! I got everything in there, that is pretty impressive! And all in under 1 hour, impressive


End file.
